Learning to ask for
what we want
Around the start of the new year many of us ask ourselves questions: What do I want to improve on this year? What things have I not accomplished in the past? What can I gain during the upcoming months? I know I’ve been asking myself these and so many more questions recently.
During a conversation with a close friend this week, we both discussed how one thing we want to work on is asking for what we want and need. This can be really difficult for some of us. I know sometimes I feel making my desires known can be uncomfortable. First, it requires self awareness that I actually know where I stand in certain situations and where I want to go. Further, for someone who likes to give, wants others’ approval, and doesn’t like letting down others, it can feel selfish to state my needs when I spend a lot of time thinking of others. It can feel shameful to ask for help when I wish I could do things on my own, or embarrassing to ask a question I don’t know the answer to. And yet, I also know that sometimes not speaking up about my limitations or boundaries means that on some level I’m expecting others to read my mind, and when things don’t go as I wish, I’m left feeling resentful, exhausted or defeated.
This year I’m working on being brave enough to ask. Firstly, to take time to ask myself what I honestly want and need. Then, asking and letting others know my wishes clearly, confidently, and kindly. Asking more questions so that I can learn more.
Ask and you shall receive, the saying goes. Well, even if not all my goals are met this year, flexing those asking muscles can only give more opportunities for growth whether it’s by receiving more ( more free time, more exciting work projects, more knowledge, more reciprocity and depth in relationships) or on the flip side, learning how to deal gracefully with disappointment when I don’t get what I want.
“Asking is the beginning of receiving, “ says business philosopher Jim Rohn. Asking is also an essential part of open communication. It allows for us to not just “get”, but also give more in other areas. When done the right way, it can help us connect to one another. It can only help us grow.
Whether you ask, pray, make a vision board, or wish on a star, I hope this year you ask for what you want and need. It might be a change in your work situation, a shift in your relationships, time to learn new hobbies, or just an hour to get away to dance with me in person or online. Hoping you get all you want and more in the year ahead!
Keep moving!
xx,
Katie