Quieting our inner critic during the holiday time
The holiday season from Thanksgiving through Christmas and Chinese New Year has gotten underway and with it comes a whole slew of extra celebrations, feasts, activities and obligations. As the schedule gets fuller and interactions with others more frequent, time starts blurring and I have to catch myself as I get into a familiar cycle of “too much/ not enough” in my head.
I have too many things to do. I don’t have enough time.
I work too much. I didn’t talk to my loved ones enough.
I ate too much. I didn’t exercise enough.
I felt too stressed and stayed up too late. I didn’t get enough sleep.
I wasted too much time or was distracted too much. I’m not prepared enough.
I teach too much. I don’t learn enough.
I feel or think too much . I don’t have enough.
I’m not enough.
There’s nothing particularly remarkable about these thoughts. Most people can relate to at least some from the list, or add their own, because judging ourselves is pretty deeply ingrained in so many of us. Especially when we are trying to focus on self-improvement in our health, lifestyles, work and relationships, our inner critic can be harshest. Especially when we gather with others to celebrate holidays or do a year-end review, we compare and judge ourselves first, almost as a way to protect ourselves from the opinions of others.
Just a few days of getting stuck in the too much/ not enough loop can drain me. Setting impossibly high standards for ourselves and attaching our worth to them, just means that we’ll never be enough. A lot of what we do will be based on fear and obligation rather than come from love and joy.
This holiday season I need to tell myself I’m enough. Not because of what I do or don’t do, have or don’t have. Simply just because I’m me--flaws, funny quirks, good attributes and all. I can work on owning the choices I make with my time, choose to improve in areas I can, and accept myself for who I am right now.
I’m enough. And in case you need to hear it right now, you are enough, too.
Wishing you a peaceful and self-love filled start to your holiday season!
Keep moving!
xx,
Katie
在佳節假期間，靜下心中的評論家
從感恩節、聖誕節、到農曆過年一連串的佳節假期，隨之而來很多的慶祝、大餐、活動與必須出席的場合。行程越來越滿、與他人長時間的互動下， 時間開始顯得模糊，我也慢慢發現自己的腦海中出現了一個很熟悉的循環，就是「太多與不夠」的這個惡性循環。
我有太多事要做了！／我的時間不夠！
我工作時數太長。／我太少的時間和我愛的人說話。
我吃太多。／我運動得不夠。
我因為壓力太大導致晚睡。／我睡得不夠。
我浪費太多的時間或是花太多的時間分心。／我準備得不夠。
我教太多課。／我學得不夠。
我感受或是想得太多。／我擁有的不夠多。
我是不足夠的。
以上這些想法其實沒有太大的幫助，但我相信大多數的人都能同理上述的這個「不夠清單」，甚至還能加上幾項他們自己的「不足」。對大部分的我們而言，評論自己是一個非常根深蒂固的習慣。尤其當我們想要在健康、 生活型態、工作與人際關係方面自我提升時；或是當我們和大家一起慶祝佳節、年終回顧時，與他人比較和批評自己是我們的第一步，甚至可以說這樣的做法能保護我們不受他人想法的傷害。
就只有幾天陷在這個「太多與不夠」的無限迴圈中真的很傷神。為自己設定不可能的高標，再硬將自己的價值和這個高標綁在一起，得到「我們永遠是不夠的」的結論，進而導致我們所做的事情都是出自於恐懼以及責任，而非愛與喜樂。
這個假期我需要告訴自己「我是足夠的」，不是因為我做了什麼或是沒做什麼、擁有什麼或是不擁有什麼，而是因為我是我（全部的我，包含所有的缺點、古怪的幽默、好的特質等。）我可以努力的就是，嘗試接受我所做的決定、接受我如何運用時間的決定、選擇我想要進步的方向、並接受現在的自己。
我是足夠的。 同樣的，你也是足夠的。
希望你的佳節假期能充滿平靜與自愛。
繼續前進！
愛你的 Katie
( Anna Liang 譯 )